


Wanted

by LittleMissCactus



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Comfort Sex, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Emotional Manipulation, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Maeglin survives AU, Porn with Feelings, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Stockholm Syndrome, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:13:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26571205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissCactus/pseuds/LittleMissCactus
Summary: Mairon takes care of those who are loyal to him.
Relationships: Maeglin | Lómion/Sauron | Mairon, Morgoth Bauglir | Melkor/Sauron | Mairon
Comments: 26
Kudos: 67





	1. Captured

"Well, Maeglin, now you've done it." Maeglin kicked the cell wall with a growl before flinging himself onto the small cot that he had been provided, doing everything in his power not to scream. Of _course_ something like this would happen. Why wouldn't it? It's not like anything else in his damn life has ever gone well. He should have known that his relative happiness in Gondolin couldn't last. He should have known...

But then, maybe this wouldn't have happened in the first place if... no, he wasn't going there. Gondolin was the closest he'd ever had to happiness. He couldn't bring himself to think too ill of it.

He sat upright and looked sharply at the door when he heard footsteps outside. They seemed to pass by, though, and he slumped over, drawing his knees to his chest and doing his best to force back tears. He had to stay strong. He had to keep Gondolin a secret. He had to keep it safe. _He had to keep Idril safe_ , a voice whispered in the back of his head. He squeezed his eyes shut and drew in a shuddering breath. Would he ever see Idril again? Even if he knew that she hated him, that she would never be his, he wanted to see her be happy. Even if it could never be with him.

" _Lady_ _Nienna, if you can hear me, have pity on me,_ " he whispered hoarsely, then felt a sudden burning feeling well up in his chest, licking at his lungs until he was sure they were charred.

"We do not say the names of any Valar save the Lord Melkor," a silken voice laced with venom crooned as the door opened. 

Maeglin's heart stopped. He had never seen the being before him, but somehow, he instinctively knew exactly who he was looking at.

"Gorthaur..." he breathed, his eyes widening as his heart began to pound in his ears. Now he'd _really_ done it.

"Hmph. Better than Sauron, I suppose, but I'd really prefer Mairon, if it's all the same to you." A sickly sweet smile gave Maeglin all the warning he needed of what would happen if he didn't comply.

"A-alright, Mairon..." Maeglin swallowed thickly. _Courage_ , he told himself.

Mairon almost looked surprised at the lack of resistance, and he laughed. "There's a good boy. Now, I'm not sure what you've heard about what's in store for you, but let's make something very clear." A sharp finger forced Maeglin's chin up so that he was made to look directly into Mairon's fiery eyes. "I can be every bit as cruel as you have likely heard, but I am fair. If you do as you're told, we won't have any problems. Understand?"

Maeglin forced himself not to tremble as he nodded. "I... I understand."

"Good. Now, why don't you start by telling me your name?"

Maeglin's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to refuse, but the dangerous glint in Mairon's eyes made him hesitate. If he revealed his name, there was a chance he would be found out as a resident of Gondolin...

"You're hesitating. You're afraid that I will find out that you are from Gondolin, aren't you?" Mairon smirked.

Maeglin nearly choked and he stared up at Mairon. "Y-you know?! How?!"

"You just told me."

Fuck.

"...My name is Maeglin."

"No 'son of such and such'? Unusual for an elf. You usually get so uppity about your titles."

Maeglin's eyes grew dark. "Son of no one. Offspring of Eöl."

"Ah. I see how it is." Mairon's eyes were as swift and calculating as ever, but his face seemed to soften a little, and Maeglin found himself relaxing with it, even if he knew that it was likely a trap. "You're hurt. I see the Orcs were none too gentle with you."

"Were they supposed to be?" Maeglin spat before remembering himself and going silent, his breath catching in his throat.

Surprisingly, Mairon laughed. "No, I suppose not. But if you're so bitter, perhaps I shouldn't bother offering to heal them for you."

"No, wait! I'm sorry." Maeglin cursed himself for being so weak, but he was in so much pain, and knew he would be in more pain soon. 

Mairon eyed Maeglin carefully and crossed his arms across his chest. "Ask nicely, then," he purred, eyes glinting cruelly. 

Maeglin sputtered in shock, then glared at Mairon. "You want me to beg?!"

"Well, if you want to put it like that."

"I would sooner die." Maeglin's eyes blazed furiously and he met Mairon's gaze defiantly.

"Very well, have it your way, elf." Mairon coiled a thin hand around Maeglin's throat and Maeglin gasped, flinching away.

The world began to spin and he could hear echoes of his father's voice, feel the strikes against his small body, and he curled into himself as tears streamed down his face. "No, please, I'm sorry..." he repeated like a mantra between soft sobs. When he finally became aware of his surroundings again, he was wrapped in a thin blanket and Mairon was dabbing at his face with a damp cloth, his eyes more interested than concerned.

"Are you alright, little elf?"

Maeglin eyed Mairon warily and shrank back. "...I'm fine," he squeaked, reaching up to wipe some tears away. When he looked at his hand, though, the cuts and bruises from his capture were gone. He opened his mouth and closed it again. "Y-you... did you do this?!"

Mairon shrugged. "You said please, didn't you? I keep my promises." 

He brushed some hair out of Maeglin's face, and Maeglin found himself leaning into the gentle contact despite himself. How long had it been since someone had touched him gently, without wanting to strike him? His eyes fluttered shut before he even knew what was happening, and within just a few hours of being captured, he was already curled up in the arms of the Lieutenant of Angband, purring like a kitten.


	2. Reasonable

When Maeglin woke up the next - morning? It was impossible to tell here - he found himself curled up on the same cot as the night before, but it was warmer, somehow. The blanket wrapped around him was just as thin as before, but it was as if it was being heated by some sort of magic. As he remembered what had happened, Maeglin wondered if it _was_ magic. Mairon had been... shockingly kind to him. Maeglin couldn't remember the last time someone had calmed him down after a flashback, and it had felt incredibly nice to just be held.

He pulled the blanket tighter around himself and closed his eyes, relishing its warmth. It was _definitely_ being heated, and it felt phenomenal. He was just burying his face in the blanket when the cell door opened and an Orc entered. Maeglin's eyes went wide and he held his breath, but the Orc just scowled at him, put a bowl of soup on the floor by the cot, and left the cell as quickly as he had entered. Maeglin's stomach growled at the sight of the food. He hadn't realized how hungry he was until now.

He pulled the bowl into his lap and began to eat, doing his best to stay at least someone refined as he did so. Even if no one was in the room, he didn't want to admit just how ravenous he was. The soup was surprisingly good for a prisoner's food, but then, he wasn't sure what to expect anymore, so he couldn't even bring himself to be surprised. He had just finished eating when Mairon walked into the room, his face as unreadable as ever.

"I trust that you slept well?"

Maeglin glared at him nervously. "I'm still not telling you anything about Gondolin."

Mairon laughed. "So distrustful still, even after everything I did for you last night?" He sat on the edge of the cot with a feline smile. "Fine by me. I don't mind working to get what I want." 

He reached forward, and Maeglin flinched, only to melt despite himself when Mairon gently caressed his cheek. Maeglin's eyelids fluttered and he bit down on his lip to keep from whimpering when Mairon pulled his hand away. Mairon seemed to pick up on it anyways, though, because he smirked and shifted a bit closer to Maeglin, running his thumb along Maeglin's jawline and watching his eyes flutter with scientific attentiveness. 

"Aren't you pretty?" Mairon murmured, "And yet you act as if you've never been touched gently in your life."

"I haven't. Not since-" Maeglin clapped a hand over his mouth and he squeaked. Had he really slipped so easily?! Sure, it was hardly enough information that it would give anything away, but still, he hadn't intended on saying _anything_ about himself.

Mairon seemed to understand his line of thinking and he smiled gently, running his fingers through Maeglin's hair. "It's alright. You don't need to be frightened. I'm not going to force you to say anything you don't feel comfortable with."

Maeglin frowned at that. If he wasn't going to be interrogated, why was he being kept alive? Why was Mairon visiting him so often? His thoughts melted into a puddle on the floor when he was suddenly pulled into Mairon's arms and _oh, he was so warm..._

"I'm warm, am I?" Mairon chuckled, petting Maeglin's hair gently as he cradled the boy against his shoulder. Maeglin's mottled face turned beet red. Had he really said that out loud?!

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't..."

"Now, now. No need to apologize. It's rather endearing. Although you are _adorable_ when you blush."

Maeglin squawked. "I-I'm not adorable, I'm ugly, I'm-"

A thin finger pressed against Maeglin's lips silenced him and he whimpered.

"Now, Maeglin. I don't want you saying such things about yourself for as long as you are here. Can you do that for me?"

"I-I'll do my best..." Maeglin said weakly, "But... Mairon?"

"Hm?"

"If you don't want information from me... why are you bothering with me at all?"

Mairon smiled fondly. "Well... let's just say that you are my special prisoner. Be a good boy and I'll make sure that you're taken care of, alright?"

Maeglin hated that the shiver that ran down his spine wasn't entirely out of fear. "Okay... But why?"

"Because," Mairon's hand glided down to slowly rub Maeglin's shoulders and back, making him melt in the Maia's arms, "There's something special about you. I can't quite place it, but I can tell that you are worth more in yourself than any information you might have."

Maeglin's cheeks went even redder and he stared at Mairon. "I don't know what's so special about me... The only reason I haven't been run out of Gondolin yet is because I'm a decent smith, but so is everyone."

Now Mairon's eyes lit up with genuine interest, but he simply continued to speak in the same smooth, even voice. "Now, I'll have you know that I'm a smith myself. I won't have you insulting a perfectly noble profession."

Maeglin blushed. He _knew_ that, but of course he had to go and put his foot in his mouth like he always did. Why couldn't he just-

"Maeglin? It's alright. I'm not angry." Maeglin nearly burst into tears at how gentle Mairon's voice was. It wasn't _fair_. Why couldn't Mairon just torture him like he had been expecting? He wasn't prepared for this. 

"I'm sorry," Maeglin sniffled, hiding his face in the crook of Mairon's neck.

"It's alright. Everything is alright. You're a good boy, Maeglin."

Maeglin's eyes shot open and he squeaked, squirming slightly at the compliment. "I... I am...?" He kicked himself for how pathetic he must sound.

"Of course." Mairon smiled and kissed the top of Maeglin's head. Maeglin blushed and averted his gaze, trying desperately to hide how he was beginning to react to the attention. Oh god, he was so disgusting, this was exactly why everyone hated him, wasn't it?

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I-"

"Hey. I don't mind," Mairon purred, running a hand down Maeglin's chest as he spoke.

"You... you don't?" Maeglin's mind went blank at the contact and his eyes fluttered shut.

"I don't. Now, would you like me to... ah... give you a hand with this?"

Maeglin's eyes widened. "I... you mean it?! I thought you'd be disgusted to touch me... there..." He blushed and looked away.

Mairon smirked and nipped at Maeglin's ear. "Nonsense. You are _beautiful_ , even if you are an Elf."

Maeglin whimpered and found himself growing harder at that even as he shook his head vehemently in response to the compliment. He remembered Mairon's earlier words, though, and didn't argue. He shivered when he felt a hand slide up his robe and wrap around his cock. "Nng..."

"Good boy. Just relax and let yourself enjoy this."

Maeglin whined and bit down on his lip as he bucked into Mairon's hand, his whole body shaking with pleasure as Mairon began to stroke him slowly. He gasped hoarsely with every movement of Mairon's hand, and he could feel his cock pulsating as Mairon went agonizingly slowly.

"Please... more..." he whimpered, "It feels good..."

"Mm... does it? I'm glad." Mairon began to stroke faster, kissing Maeglin's cheek. "Such a good boy, asking nicely for what you want. Don't you worry about a thing, I'll look after you."

Maeglin sobbed as he bucked his hips wildly, hands scrambling for perchase on Mairon's robes. "Nng... _Idril!_ " He froze, eyes going wide, and looked over his shoulder to gauge Mairon's reaction.

For a fraction of a second, astonishment blossomed over Mairon's face, but it was quickly hidden by the same serene smile. "It's alright. I'm not offended."

Maeglin chewed his lip and hid his face in Mairon's robes. "I'm sorry... I-I wasn't..."

"Hush." Mairon ran his fingers through Maeglin's hair with his free hand before continuing to stroke his cock, watching as Maeglin began to squirm and whine all over again.

It wasn't long before Maeglin was a ruined mess, moaning Mairon's name and begging him to let him cum. Mairon toyed with him for a little longer, bringing him close to the edge and backing him off a couple of times, then finally decided to give in and grant what he wanted.

"Thank you, sir..." Maeglin shivered as he came down from his orgasm, still clinging to Mairon's robes. "You've... you've been kinder to me than anyone else since my mother died..." At this point, Maeglin didn't care that he was freely giving information about himself. He trusted Mairon not to use it against him, even if the logical part of his brain was screaming at him not to.

Mairon raised his eyebrows. "Sir? That's new. And I'm not kind, Maeglin. I am reasonable. If you are loyal and obedient, I will reward you. If you cause me problems, you will be punished. Understand?"

Maeglin nodded and hid his face in Mairon's robes once more. "I understand. Still... thank you."

Mairon held Maeglin close to his chest as the Elf fell asleep, watching him as wheels began to turn in his mind. This was turning into quite the interesting situation.


	3. Servitude

It had been about a week since Maeglin had been captured. He actually knew this with reasonable certainty since Mairon had started being kind enough to tell him the date and time every time he came to visit. Kind... that had never been a word he would ever have imagined associating with _Sauron_ , of all people, but Mairon had treated him with more kindness than anyone else in Maeglin's life. Sure, there were probably ulterior motives. Maeglin was no fool. But he chose not to think about that. It felt too nice thinking that someone was treating him well for the sake of it.

"Is something the matter, little one?" Mairon brushed some hair out of Maeglin's face with a gentle smile. "You seem to be deep in thought."

"No, no! Nothing's wrong. I... I just..." Maeglin hesitated. Would telling Mairon that he hadn't been expecting to be treated like this cause this kindness to end? But surely Mairon knew what his reputation was. He wouldn't be surprised, would he?

"You won't offend me," Mairon said softly, "Speak freely." Not for the first time did Mairon shock Maeglin with how easily he seemed to be able to read his thoughts.

Maeglin bit his lip. "It's silly. I just... I don't understand why you're being so kind to me. You're treating me like... like I'm worth something."

"You _are_ worth something," Mairon said with a smile, and Maeglin nearly choked. He wondered if Mairon knew that no one had ever actually told him that before.

"I... I am...?" Maeglin asked pathetically before he could catch himself. 

"Of course." Mairon went silent for a moment, then his eyes lit up and he cupped Maeglin's face in his hands. "You told me the other day that you are a smith. Is that right?"

Maeglin frowned, not understanding the relevance of the question. "I... yes. I'm not very good, but..."

"I will be the judge of that." Mairon crossed his arms with a self-satisfied smirk. "I will take you down to the forge tomorrow and you will show me what you can do. I will prove your worth first-hand."

Maeglin's mind screamed at him to refuse. Anything he made in the forges of Angband would surely be used against his own people in battle. Wouldn't it be treason to willingly make weapons for the enemy? _No more than it is treason to get a handjob from Gorthaur the Cruel..._

"What exactly will you have me make...?"

Mairon laughed, the sound far more pleasant than it had any right to be. "I will not have you make weapons if you would not feel at ease doing so. I am a good enough smith that I can make any weapon I please without help. I am simply curious as to how good you are. Besides, don't you want to leave your cell?"

The next day, Maeglin was escorted out of his cell and brought out to see Mairon, who was dressed in a tunic and leather trousers instead of the robes that Maeglin was so accustomed to seeing him in. 

"I trust that you didn't give your chaperones any trouble?" Mairon asked with a smirk.

Maeglin squeaked. "I-I didn't mean to! Did they say I did? What did I do?!"

"Oh, calm down, I'm only teasing." Mairon placed a hand on Maeglin's cheek and Maeglin hated how easily he melted into the gentle touch. "So beautiful..."

"I'm not..." Maeglin mumbled, more out of impulse than anything, "I'm all patchy and mottled. I'm-"

"Stop that." Mairon cupped Maeglin's face in his hands and smiled. "You are beautiful. Your skin is beautiful. The patches are far more interesting than a standard prissy little Elf."

Maeglin smiled despite himself and closed his eyes, allowing himself to feel safe in Mairon's gentle hold. When he opened his eyes, Mairon was eyeing him studiously. 

"Now, little one, there are some simple rules for you to follow while out of your cell. Don't talk to anyone except for me, and stay within my range of vision. Sound simple enough?"

"Yes, sir," Maeglin said meekly.

"Good. Now, come show me what you can do in the forge."

As Maeglin was following Mairon to the forge, though, he saw a woman out of the corner of his eye. She looked nothing like anyone else he had seen in Angband. She didn't have the same powerful aura as Mairon, but she was more beautiful than the Orcs and Balrogs that Maeglin had seen. She was... drawing him in, somehow, and before Maeglin even knew what he was doing, he had ducked around a corner and was walking towards her.

"Well, well. What have we here?" a silky voice crooned. The woman smiled, revealing sharp, glinting teeth. Maeglin's heart turned to ice and he stared in horror as she sauntered over to him, placing a cold hand on his throat. "One of the Lieutenant's new playthings, eh? Well, I'm sure that he will forgive me if I just have a little taste..."

"No, please, I don't-" Maeglin was nearly hyperventilating as her face drew closer to the crook of his neck. Tears pricked his eyes and he whimpered when he felt a sharp pain as a fang sank into his throat.

"Thuringwethil, step away from the Elf," a voice barked from behind Maeglin. Maeglin couldn't quite decide if he was relieved or terrified when he looked over his shoulder and saw Mairon standing there, eyes blazing furiously.

The woman, apparently Thuringwethil, glared at Mairon, but obeyed reluctantly, turning and walking away at an irritably fast clip. Maeglin shrank down and tears began to stream from his eyes. Now he had really done it. Now Mairon would hate him and the one person who had ever been kind to him would just hurt him like everyone else and-

"Maeglin, what did I tell you not five minutes ago?" Mairon's voice was eerily calm.

Maeglin sobbed and threw himself at Mairon's feet. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to! I... I didn't even know what I was doing until it was too late... I'm sorry... please don't hurt me..."

Mairon hummed and crossed his arms, raising his eyebrows as he looked down at the trembling Elf. "If I really wanted you hurt, I would have let Thuringwethil do what she wanted to you."

Maeglin swallowed thickly at the thought and his trembling only grew worse. "Thank you... thank you for saving me..." he whispered hoarsely, crawling closer to Mairon, his nose still pressed against the floor, "I... I didn't deserve it."

"This is exactly why I told you not to get out of my sight. Angband is dangerous for such a delicate little creature."

"I know, I'm sorry. I..." Maeglin chewed his lip. How could he possibly repay Mairon for saving him, even after he had directly disobeyed his only two orders? "I... I am in your debt. I will do whatever I can to serve you as thanks."

This made Mairon take a step back in surprise, but he quickly recovered, returning to his usual cool façade. "Would you swear to that?"

Maeglin's stomach twisted, knowing fully well that he shouldn't. But then... Mairon had been kinder to him than he deserved. What was the harm in it? Maybe Maeglin could finally be happy this way. Maybe the Elves of Gondolin knew this and that's why they had told him never to go into the mountains near Angband. His heart was suddenly hardened against his kin and he kissed Mairon's feet obediently.

"I would live and die to serve you, my lord."


	4. The Dark Lord

For what felt like an eternity, Maeglin found himself swept up in a life of indulgence and bliss that he had never dreamed of. Nearly every waking moment was spent by Mairon's side, assisting him at times in the forge, but usually just sitting in silence and allowing Mairon to play with his hair and hand-feed him like a pet. At first, it was embarrassing, but as time went on, Maeglin found himself enjoying being taken care of. It was so different from anything he had ever experienced before, and compared to his life before Angband, it was paradise.

“What a good boy,” Mairon crooned as he watched Maeglin shaping iron into a skillfully crafted blade, “You are certainly a talented little smith, aren't you?”

Maeglin's cheeks flushed and he smiled sheepishly. “Thank you, my lord. I... I do my best. I want to be better than my father was.” That was another thing, Maeglin noted absently. He wasn't quite sure when he had started feeling so comfortable telling Mairon about his past, but he found himself opening up more and more with every passing day.

“Well, I have never seen your father's work, but your skill is some of the greatest I have ever seen from an Elf.” A deceptively delicate hand reached out to brush against Maeglin's cheek, and not for the first time did Maeglin find himself leaning into the gentle touch.

“I am honoured, my lord,” he murmured, his eyes fluttering shut for just long enough to savour the touch before his attention snapped back to his work.

“Maeglin...” Maeglin was surprised to hear what almost sounded like apprehension in Mairon's voice. “I have been speaking with The Lord Melkor about you. He wishes to meet you and speak with you.”

Maeglin's blood froze. The Dark Lord wanted to speak with _him?!_ “May.... may I ask why, my lord?”

“I think that you know why as well as I do,” Mairon said gently. “He wants to know how to find Gondolin.”

*** ***

Maeglin did his best to swallow his fear, but try as he might, he couldn't help but hide behind Mairon as they entered the throne room and he was led towards the dark figure towering over him. A thousand thoughts raced through Maeglin's head and those few seconds it took to walk into the centre of the room felt like an eternity. Could Maeglin really betray his people like this? Betray Idril? Was this the only reason that Mairon was being kind to him? Would he be rejected as soon as he divulged the information needed? To his surprise, Morgoth _laughed_.

“He's a jumpy one, isn't he?” His voice was deep and gravelly, and should have been terrible to hear, but Maeglin found it oddly disarming. Was his soul really corrupted so much that he could tolerate even the Dark Lord's voice?!

“Only with strangers, my lord. He is as soft as a kitten with me.” Mairon's voice sounded tiny in comparison to the great voice coming from the throne.

“I see. Come closer, little one. Let's have a look at you. My Lieutenant tells me that you're quite the pretty little thing.”

Maeglin blushed despite himself and reluctantly stepped forward, his gaze still fixed on the ground. He opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out.

“Now, now. As long as you are good and do as I tell you, no harm will come to you,” the Dark Lord laughed, “In fact, I have an offer for you.”  
“An... an offer, Lord Morgoth?” Maeglin squeaked.

“Call me that again and I may reconsider. You will address me as Lord Melkor or not at all,” Morgoth – no, Melkor snapped.

“Yes, Lord Melkor. Forgive me.”

“Hmph. Only for Mairon's sake. He'd be pouty if I ruined his plaything.”

Maeglin shivered. Plaything. He knew in his heart that it was true, but it didn't make the betrayal sting any less.

“Right, let's get down to business, shall we?” Melkor rubbed his hands together. “You have something that I want. If you give it to me, then I can give you something that you want.”

“I... I beg your pardon?”

“What my lord is _trying_ to say is that if you tell him how to find Gondolin, you will be rewarded for your loyalty. Gondolin will be yours, and so will Idril.”

Maeglin's heart stopped. _Idril..._

“But what about my service to you?'”

“You will be serving me indirectly by serving my Lord Melkor in Gondolin. Unless you'll miss me too much.” Mairon flashed a grin, and Maeglin shivered.

“No, my lord,” he murmured, although he wasn't sure he was being fully honest.

Both Maia and Vala seemed to see through his words, though, as both eyed him thoughtfully, and Maeglin swore he saw a hint of jealousy in Melkor's eyes.

Mairon apparently noticed it to, because he walked closer to the throne and whispered something in Melkor's ear, which seemed to appease him.

“Well, Maeglin, tell me what I want to know, and you shall have all that your heart desires.”

But did Maeglin even know what that was anymore? He supposed that it was irrelevant. Right now, all he knew was that, even if he got nothing at all in return, he wanted to prove to his lord that he was worthy of the kindness that had been granted to him. He drew in a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut before murmuring the words that he knew would change his life forever.

“Very well. I'll tell you everything.”


	5. Falling

Maeglin fell. The drop from the wall to the ground below felt like an eternity, and Maeglin cried out helplessly as he plummeted down to what he was certain would be his death. The air whipped at his cheeks like a thousand needles and forced his terrified tears back into his eye sockets.

When he landed, though, he wasn't dead. No, he was agonizingly aware of his shattered bones and laboured breathing, how every tiny movement was torture. Blood seeped into his eyes and began to blur his vision, but not before he caught sight of a pile of bones not five feet away from where he lay.

“Atar...” he whispered bitterly, then began to weep, ignoring how each heave of his chest strained against his broken ribs. He couldn't die here. Not like this. Not the same way that his father had died.

Still, there was nothing that Maeglin could do but close his eyes and await the call of Mandos and pray that the Valar wouldn't reject him for his betrayal. He wasn't sure how long he laid there trembling, the screams of Elves inside the city drowned out by his own pounding heart, but it was not the call of Mandos that finally pulled him from his agony.

Instead, he felt a presence next to him and a gentle hand caress his cheek.

“I'm here, little one,” a familiar voice crooned.

Maeglin's breath hitched and he let out a sob of relief. “You... you came back for me...”

Mairon adjusted Maeglin's position so that he was laid down on his back and began to sing softly, watching as Maeglin's bones were fused back together and his wounds stitched closed. Maeglin couldn't help but cry out in pain, for the healing was none too gentle, but when Mairon was finished, he slumped back in relief.

“Thank you, my lord,” Maeglin whispered hoarsely, looking up at Mairon with a pained smile.

“I promised you that you will be rewarded as long as you are loyal and obedient. Continue to be good for me and you have nothing to fear.” Mairon pulled Maeglin into his arms and picked him up. “However, you will still be weak for some time. I will bring you somewhere safe where you can rest until you have regained some of your strength, and then we will return to Angband.”

Maeglin barely managed a nod before falling asleep on Mairon's shoulder.

*** ***

When Maeglin awoke, he was back in the room that he had been allotted in Angband, laid in his small cot with a blanket covering him. He looked around blearily, then went pale as he remembered the events of the day before.

“I should be dead...” Maeglin shivered and hesitated, then tried sitting up.

Miraculously, he felt almost no pain, and could even stand up and take a few steps before the ache became overwhelming. Maeglin collapsed on the floor with a small cry and hugged his chest, scolding himself for not resting as Mairon had told him.

Truth be told, it was still hard for Maeglin to believe that he was alive. That Mairon had _saved_ him. He had been fully expecting to be abandoned as soon as Gondolin fell, and then he would be alone all over again, but Mairon... Mairon kept him. Maeglin searched desperately for a reason, but could think of no way that he could benefit either Mairon or Melkor anymore. So, could it be that Mairon actually cared about him after all? That he wasn't just a plaything?

Suddenly, the door opened and Mairon appeared, looking much more stern than Maeglin had ever seen him. Maeglin struggled onto his knees and lowered his head.

“My lord.”

“The Lord Melkor wishes to see you,” Mairon said shortly, eyes flashing in irritation, “Can you walk?”

Maeglin frowned. “Only a bit, my lord. Forgive me.”

Mairon sighed and rolled his eyes. “Very well. You may take my arm, then.”

“Thank you, my lord.” Maeglin hesitated before obeying. “My lord, are you angry with me?”

“No.”

Maeglin waited for Mairon to elaborate, but no further response came. He bit his lip and nodded, trying his best to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach. Maybe Mairon had finally grown tired of him. Did he regret saving him? Maeglin chewed his lip and fought back tears as he was brought before the Dark Lord for a second time. This time, he bowed along with Mairon.

“Well, well. You've proven to be quite useful, little Elf,” Melkor said with a booming laugh, “Thanks to you, Gondolin has fallen with minimal survivors.”

Maeglin's throat went dry. “Is Idril safe...?”

Mairon shot Maeglin a look and he cowered away, but Melkor just laughed all the harder.

“Yes, yes. Don't worry, your little friend is safe. Unfortunately for you, so is her husband.”

Maeglin frowned, electing to ignore the way his heart ached at the jab. “As long as she is happy, I am content. Besides, I am satisfied serving my lord,” he said as evenly as he could manage.

Melkor leaned forward in his seat, intrigued. “I see that there was no exaggeration when Mairon told me of your loyalty. I am pleased to hear it. Serve him well and I will allow you to live. But!” The Dark Lord clapped his hands and bolted upright. “That is for another night. Tonight, we celebrate a great victory, and it is all thanks to you, little elf.”

Maeglin knew that he should feel guilt for betraying his people, but in truth, it felt nice to be appreciated. The warm feeling didn't last, though, for when he looked over at Mairon in hopes of seeing the same approval, all he received was a cold stare, and his heart sank. Perhaps there really was nowhere that he could truly be happy after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost done! I'm tempted to make a sequel fic after I'm done this one. For those of you who don't know, this fic fits into my AU where Maeglin ends up becoming the Mouth of Sauron, so the sequel fic would be about that.


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